People as food.

I was reading through some old emails I sent home when I first got over here - in particular, ones that I sent to my sister, and I found this paragraph -

If we were being compared to food, you would probably be dark chilli chocolate - sweet, strong and with one hell of kick. God alone knows what I would be. R, god love him, would be plain yoghurt at room temperature (Ok, benefit of doubt - he might have a bit of ‘strawberry swirl’ or some chocolate chips hidden at the bottom or something) - don't get me wrong here - I love R dearly, but we are talking about a man who I strongly suspect of organising his sock draw.

And if he doesn't, P probably does.



Ouch.

I stand by it though.

(P is of course, my sister-in-law)

So... what food would you be?

*Yawn* *Stretch*

...

A morning greeting doesn't only mean 'Good Morning' - it has a silent message saying 'I thought of you when I woke up'.

*smile*

Good morning.

La la la

I have come to the conclusion that I am not suited for this job.

In fact, i am not suited to any job that involves dealing with any member of the general public.

Conversely, I am not suited to any job that doesn't involve a whole lot of communication and interaction with others.

What to do?

xoxox

I suspect i would be more tolerant of her if she was my nanna, rather then someone elses.

On the plus side, at least I don't lock her in the car just to get away from her like another live in carer I spoke to recently - you aren't allowed to do that to a dog ffs, how can you do that to an old woman?????!!!!

xoxox

I am going to be screwed when I get home - all my jobs over here have been non-jobs (or my idea of non-jobs anyway - there's never been enough bloody work to keep me occupied all day, even when i have been doing 3 peoples jobs). So just imagine how i am going to struggle going back to a job that actually expects me to work (not surf the net or read) all day ?????

Christ.

xoxox

Someone asked me recently what I intend to do differently when I get home, I've mulled over it for a while and here is part of my answer -

I think the biggest changes will be the ones I am unconscious of. Friends have mentioned how much I have changed and the things they point out are the things that had actually slipped my notice.

I'm not going to go hoem trying to change everything (no need - I'm pretty fucking wonderful, after all) or too many things - mainly because even the best juggler can only keep so many balls in the air at once - I'd rather change a couple of things at a time and actually change then try to do too many things, decide its too hard and throw the towel in.

Therefore, 'Things I Am Going To Make A Specific Effort To Do' when I get home include (but are not limited to) :-

* Being more open to meeting new people - I meet a lot of new people all the time but always hold them at arms length (with a smile, of course). My aim is to try to stop holding everyone at arms length and to actually be open to them rather then just seeming to be.

* Being more honest about what I want - I don't do so well at that. Pair of shoes??? New dress??? I can tell you ALLLLLLL about how much I want it. When it comes to what I really want however, well, I am pretty crap at that.

Instinct kicks in and I just want to run - no matter how minor or off the cuff the question is, I clam up. To give an open and honestly felt response is very difficult for me.

I almost never talk about what I am really thinking and what I am really feeling, or rather, the depths of what I am really thinking and really feeling - I'll give you a surface commentary quite willingly, but to scratch that and go deeper, to actually get right down to the nitty gritty of what I want, what I think and so forth is something that I just never do. I can admit it to myself, but to someone else????

This blog has helped a lot in learning to be honest about that, but now I have to move that into RL and just quietly, thats bloody hard.

* Being a hell of a lot more brave then I am - so that I can actually do the 2 things I've said above and a couple of others I am still turning over in my mind. I may post about them another time - I'm freaking out enough about posting that (above) for now.

xoxox

"No matter what else happens during the day, you can always choose what you have for lunch"

I don't watch a lot of TV, but I happened to turn on the TV when Boston Legal was on a few weeks ago and I have remembered that line ever since.

It's a great line.

The glass is half full people!

xoxox

Get your drunk on.

Hello there !!!!

Apologies in advance if my typing sucks.

AL & I went out tonight - girls night out - I had a night pass from work - don't have to be back there until 9am tomorrow, very exciting stuff.

Ate far too much Mexican (the only Thai in this one horse town is shite) and drank far too many very good coktails.

The good ones were available as jugs (we shareda couple of those) and the really fucking great ones weren't (we had more then a couple of those).

Of course, after a couple of jugs of cocktails, it is possible that they weren't really 'really fucking great' but I shall go back and investigate that some other time - purely for research purposes, you lnow that.

You know you drank too much when the bill for the booze is 6.5 times the bill for the food ( i didn't work that out - she did).

Or maybe we just didn't eat enough.

I may stick with that excuse.

She keeps pulling out stories about things I have done whilst drunk - we were trying to work out who has swum in more fountains while in the cab coming home. I think I wom. She's hooked into more of our ex workmates then I have though. I think thats a good thing. Although my male/female ratio was slightly more unbalanced then hers was. No wonder we never have any trouble getting a job. (Professionsal??? Us??? What??)

Anyway, AL is downstairs mixing more cocktails for us & I have to go have a shower - its quite hot at the moment - I got sunburnt today !!!!!!!!!! WTF>>>

We've talked a tremendous amount tonight and I dare say we will be up until the wee hours talking some more.

Excuse me while I go have a shower... Very important I get back to drinking ASAP

Umm...

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a week off !!!!! *does a happy dance*

It starts on the Sunday of Soho Gay Pride *does a happy dance*

7 of my Aussie friends are going to be in town that week *does a happy dance*

I am going to buy those Dior shoes !!!! *does a happy dance*

Life is SO good !

xoxox

Do you think chickens find rubber humans funny ??

xoxox

I think I have RSI.

But only in my right hand/wrist... isn't that strange???

xoxox



xoxox

A few random thoughts

Is there anything more beautiful then a rose garden at night???

The other night I went downstairs to pick a rose to pull apart and throw into my bathwater (I had a candle-lit bath with rose petals and fresh lavender - it was great). It was still and sultry and the smell of the roses was intoxicating.

My apologies to the little rabbit that I scared the shit out of when I walked in there though...

xoxox

I also need to apologise to a whole lot of rabits - I mentioned to Mrs M that i had seen a rabbit and how cute it was... 2 hours later the game keeper strode off with traps and a gun...

Oops.

xoxox

I really have to learn to stop reading scary books before I go to bed.

I have way too much imagination and I end up having freaky dreams and sleeping badly.

Why do i like vampire stories when they freak me out so much????

xoxox

I remember the day I found out that dogs can't see in colour, I went out to our dog and gave him a big hug. I felt really sorry for him that he would never be able to see just how beautiful a rainbow was.

xoxox

I keep having dreams about all my teeth falling out - I'm standing in a huge room with a polished wooden floor and looking at a painting and talking to someone standing beside me (I can't see who it is) and all of a sudden my teeth start falling out, i cup my hands under my mouth and try to catch them until it overflows with teeth and they start falling on the floor and I can hear them bouncing on the wood. It doesn't stop until I wake up - just hundreds of teeth, pouring out of my mouth and spilling out of my hands to the floor.

Stressed much???

xoxox

You know the best part of buying new beauty products???

Opening them.

You open the box, take the bottle (whatever) out, read the box, read the little leaflet that comes with it, snap the lid open and shut a few times to listen to it, unscrew the lid to sniff the contents, check the texture of the product, put the lid back on and admire the shiny newness of the bottle, then put it all back in the box and walk it up to the bathroom where you take it out of the box and line it up in just the right spot on the bench top...

I'm not the only one who does this, right????

(You should see the routine when I get a new leather handbag...)

xoxox

I spent yesterday afternoon cutting lavender and hanging it to dry... can you believe I get paid for this shit?????

xoxox

I had a good day in London the other day. i didn't get shit done that I was supposed to, but I did sit in Green Park with MH for an hour and a half eating strawberries and clotted cream.

xoxox

I am currently addicted to Angel Cake.

That shit rocks.

xoxox

Have a good weekend beautiful people.

At last - a benefit to old age.....

You know, sooner or later, I had to come across a benefit of old age.

It’s really quite simple – you can say the most contradictory things and most people will simply be too polite to call you on it.

Or they’ll assume you’re senile – one or the other.

It’s been a month and I’m starting to get a little antsy. There is something that drives me nuts about her – she is always right – even when she’s wrong.

Now, there is nothing wrong with being always right, so long as you actually ARE right.

My sister is always right.

I am not always right. I admit that. However I am USUALLY right (this is my story and I'll tell it how I want - AND I can provide references to back that statement up) – something that my friends have admitted they would find far more annoying if it wasn’t for that fact that I am also prepared to admit when I am wrong – you may have to argue me into a corner sometimes, but once it has been proved beyond doubt that I am an incorrect twat, I am prepared to admit it.

Mrs is ALWAYS right. So just for fun (and to stop myself from going crazy here) I have been setting her up a little. Maybe. Heh

Example 1 - She has this thing about English fruit & vege – its better then anything that anywhere else can produce.

Me: These strawberries are great.
Mrs: (quite fiercely) they’re American!
Me: Really?? I thought it said on the lid that they were English?
Mrs: NO! They’re American! Can’t you taste it?? They’re so sour!

And off she goes on a rant…. Now, I knew darn well that they were English, but I let her go - hell, I even encouraged her and she ate every single strawberry like it was acid and it hurt to swallow.

After lunch I got up, went over to the bench and looked at the lid…

Me: Oh look, these are English after all – they were grown in Staffordshire…
Mrs: Oh yes – I thought so, they were too sweet and fresh to be from anywhere else. English strawberries really are lovely.

I won the challenge – I didn’t start giggling to myself until AFTER she left the room….. Heh.


Example 2 –
We had a storm and one of the fuses blew, I could not convince her that it was a fuse because ‘all the electrics were redone recently so it’s all very modern so it couldn’t be a fuse’… I couldn’t seem to convince her that it didn’t matter how fucking modern the electrics were, we’d still blown a fucking fuse – NOT 8 light bulbs!

The next day the dog keeper came up to the house and had a look – sure enough, we’d blown a fuse.

At lunch that day we were talking about it and how she’d ‘known’ that it was a fuse all along….

Example 3

When the dog keeper fixed the fuse, he used the last of the fuse wire and asked me to write on the white board (where we write the shopping list) that we needed more, which I did.

I mentioned to her that I had written it on the board and she told me that the dog keeper would bring some more the next day so it didn’t need to be there. I knew he wouldn’t because he’d asked me to write it on the board but she was insistent.

Heh – he didn’t bring it and I haven’t put it back up on the board. I KNOW it sounds childish and that this may be a problem if we have another storm and blow another fuse but fuck it – I was right, damnit !!!!!!!!


I could keep going, but you get the picture.

It’s probably cruel, almost certainly it’s going to burn up some of that good karma I had stored up but what the hell – I was saving it for an occasion and then I though – ‘what’s an occasion???’

After all, I have to amuse myself somehow, right???????

My brother.

I don't talk much about my brother here, I usually talk about my sister, however, my brothers 36th birthday was on the 4th, so I called him on the weekend during his party and spoke to him (and the rest of the family) and wished him a happy birthday.

Being the loving sister I am, when speaking to my sister, I asked her to please launch herself at him, wrap him up in a big hug and smother him in kisses (he goes BRIGHT red and tries frantically to escape any sort of display, public or otherwise, of affection). My sister also enjoys doing this to him (it's even more fun when we team up and get him at the same time) so when I asked her to do it, she gave an evil chuckle and said "Hang on - I'll do it now so you can hear"

Silence, then I hear an 'Ooof' (my brother - when M landed on him) followed by smooching sounds as she smothered him in kisses with him going "AAARRGGHHH !!! Gerroff!!!!!"

In the background, everyone was pissing themselves laughing, as is my sister and then, finally, came the sound my sister and I had been waiting for - my brother, the big baby, yelling "MUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!!"

Hahahaha.

My sister and I were laughing so hard we could barely say goodbye, my mother came on the phone, pissing herself laughing and told me I am evil and then described my brother chasing my sister round the back yard trying to catch her so he could throw her in the pond.

Some things never change.

Anyway, as it was his actual birthday yesterday, I decided to send him a quick text (it was a little late to call), the conversation went like this -

Me: Happy birthday!!! Big hugs and a face full of kisses to you!
R: Thank you... who is this?
Me: It's your little sister, you big git! Who else would kiss that face ???
R: Just worked it out. New phone, sorry. Now wheres my damn birthday breakfast??? Get cooking!
Me: Pfft - what did your last slave die of, fucker??? And besides, you should be so damn lucky to have me cook you breakfast! My scrambled egg freakin ROCK (AND you know it!)
R: My last slave didn't die - bitch took off to London... she's in BIG trouble when she gets back.
Me: Really???? You know someone else over here besides me???? Jeez, who knew you had friends???
R: Smart ass.
Me: Shucks, you're on to me! *screws up paper, lobs it over shoulder* back to the ol' drawing board...
R: Since when did you plan anything besides from an outfit?
Me: Excuse me, I do not need to 'PLAN' outfits - thats natural style and taste, thankyouverymuch! Not that you'd recognise taste if it bit you on the ass!
R: Sorry - did you say your taste is in your ass?? Don't be so hard on yourself!
Me: Ahhh fuck off. This is costing me a fortune, I could have called you - that would make the insults even cheaper! As for taste being in one's ass - I am not mum !!!!! *
R: Harsh but fair. I'm off to bed.
Me: Night John boy!
R: Night Mary-Ellen!


Bless him. I might not be as close to him as I am to my sister, but he's really a very good brother.



*To explain - I'm not allowed to go shopping by myself or I spend too much (I can't shop 'seriously' with other people), Mum is not allowed to shop by herself as she has no taste (I'm sorry, but its true).

Humph

Packing sucks ass.

That will be all.

Thank you.