At last - a benefit to old age.....

You know, sooner or later, I had to come across a benefit of old age.

It’s really quite simple – you can say the most contradictory things and most people will simply be too polite to call you on it.

Or they’ll assume you’re senile – one or the other.

It’s been a month and I’m starting to get a little antsy. There is something that drives me nuts about her – she is always right – even when she’s wrong.

Now, there is nothing wrong with being always right, so long as you actually ARE right.

My sister is always right.

I am not always right. I admit that. However I am USUALLY right (this is my story and I'll tell it how I want - AND I can provide references to back that statement up) – something that my friends have admitted they would find far more annoying if it wasn’t for that fact that I am also prepared to admit when I am wrong – you may have to argue me into a corner sometimes, but once it has been proved beyond doubt that I am an incorrect twat, I am prepared to admit it.

Mrs is ALWAYS right. So just for fun (and to stop myself from going crazy here) I have been setting her up a little. Maybe. Heh

Example 1 - She has this thing about English fruit & vege – its better then anything that anywhere else can produce.

Me: These strawberries are great.
Mrs: (quite fiercely) they’re American!
Me: Really?? I thought it said on the lid that they were English?
Mrs: NO! They’re American! Can’t you taste it?? They’re so sour!

And off she goes on a rant…. Now, I knew darn well that they were English, but I let her go - hell, I even encouraged her and she ate every single strawberry like it was acid and it hurt to swallow.

After lunch I got up, went over to the bench and looked at the lid…

Me: Oh look, these are English after all – they were grown in Staffordshire…
Mrs: Oh yes – I thought so, they were too sweet and fresh to be from anywhere else. English strawberries really are lovely.

I won the challenge – I didn’t start giggling to myself until AFTER she left the room….. Heh.


Example 2 –
We had a storm and one of the fuses blew, I could not convince her that it was a fuse because ‘all the electrics were redone recently so it’s all very modern so it couldn’t be a fuse’… I couldn’t seem to convince her that it didn’t matter how fucking modern the electrics were, we’d still blown a fucking fuse – NOT 8 light bulbs!

The next day the dog keeper came up to the house and had a look – sure enough, we’d blown a fuse.

At lunch that day we were talking about it and how she’d ‘known’ that it was a fuse all along….

Example 3

When the dog keeper fixed the fuse, he used the last of the fuse wire and asked me to write on the white board (where we write the shopping list) that we needed more, which I did.

I mentioned to her that I had written it on the board and she told me that the dog keeper would bring some more the next day so it didn’t need to be there. I knew he wouldn’t because he’d asked me to write it on the board but she was insistent.

Heh – he didn’t bring it and I haven’t put it back up on the board. I KNOW it sounds childish and that this may be a problem if we have another storm and blow another fuse but fuck it – I was right, damnit !!!!!!!!


I could keep going, but you get the picture.

It’s probably cruel, almost certainly it’s going to burn up some of that good karma I had stored up but what the hell – I was saving it for an occasion and then I though – ‘what’s an occasion???’

After all, I have to amuse myself somehow, right???????