My brother.

I don't talk much about my brother here, I usually talk about my sister, however, my brothers 36th birthday was on the 4th, so I called him on the weekend during his party and spoke to him (and the rest of the family) and wished him a happy birthday.

Being the loving sister I am, when speaking to my sister, I asked her to please launch herself at him, wrap him up in a big hug and smother him in kisses (he goes BRIGHT red and tries frantically to escape any sort of display, public or otherwise, of affection). My sister also enjoys doing this to him (it's even more fun when we team up and get him at the same time) so when I asked her to do it, she gave an evil chuckle and said "Hang on - I'll do it now so you can hear"

Silence, then I hear an 'Ooof' (my brother - when M landed on him) followed by smooching sounds as she smothered him in kisses with him going "AAARRGGHHH !!! Gerroff!!!!!"

In the background, everyone was pissing themselves laughing, as is my sister and then, finally, came the sound my sister and I had been waiting for - my brother, the big baby, yelling "MUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!!"

Hahahaha.

My sister and I were laughing so hard we could barely say goodbye, my mother came on the phone, pissing herself laughing and told me I am evil and then described my brother chasing my sister round the back yard trying to catch her so he could throw her in the pond.

Some things never change.

Anyway, as it was his actual birthday yesterday, I decided to send him a quick text (it was a little late to call), the conversation went like this -

Me: Happy birthday!!! Big hugs and a face full of kisses to you!
R: Thank you... who is this?
Me: It's your little sister, you big git! Who else would kiss that face ???
R: Just worked it out. New phone, sorry. Now wheres my damn birthday breakfast??? Get cooking!
Me: Pfft - what did your last slave die of, fucker??? And besides, you should be so damn lucky to have me cook you breakfast! My scrambled egg freakin ROCK (AND you know it!)
R: My last slave didn't die - bitch took off to London... she's in BIG trouble when she gets back.
Me: Really???? You know someone else over here besides me???? Jeez, who knew you had friends???
R: Smart ass.
Me: Shucks, you're on to me! *screws up paper, lobs it over shoulder* back to the ol' drawing board...
R: Since when did you plan anything besides from an outfit?
Me: Excuse me, I do not need to 'PLAN' outfits - thats natural style and taste, thankyouverymuch! Not that you'd recognise taste if it bit you on the ass!
R: Sorry - did you say your taste is in your ass?? Don't be so hard on yourself!
Me: Ahhh fuck off. This is costing me a fortune, I could have called you - that would make the insults even cheaper! As for taste being in one's ass - I am not mum !!!!! *
R: Harsh but fair. I'm off to bed.
Me: Night John boy!
R: Night Mary-Ellen!


Bless him. I might not be as close to him as I am to my sister, but he's really a very good brother.



*To explain - I'm not allowed to go shopping by myself or I spend too much (I can't shop 'seriously' with other people), Mum is not allowed to shop by herself as she has no taste (I'm sorry, but its true).