Revenge....
After reading Stephs latest post asking for suggestions for revenge on a friends cheating bf I have to say - it's an oldie but a goodie - prawn heads are the best!
Before I came overseas I was living with a friend of mine from work, we are a fairly close-knit group - its something to do with working nightshift I think - the only other people who have time off and are awake at the same time as you are your workmates so you end up spending a lot of time together.
My then flatmate (lets call him the Doctor) suddenly decided that one of our other friends was out to get him (that called 'paranoia' kids…) and so started to make her life hell in revenge.
Needless to say the poor girl (N) had no clue what was going on and the rest of the group was a bit baffled as well but no one really knew what was happening as he was telling everyone different stories. Finally my birthday rolled around and I decided to have a party.
The earliest i could fit my own birthday party in was Halloween & as there are not enough weekends in the year for me to go to all the parties I normally have on (what can I say - I'm loved), JM & the dr & I combined our parties & i decided that the party was to be at JM's place so that N could come along and not feel weird
A week before the party N told me that she was only going to drop in for an hour or so as she would feel very awkward that he was there and that was that. Until then I had been trying to stay out of it but once it threatened to interfere with my party I was over with this playing Switzerland business. We resolved things to the point where she could come to the party and not feel so bad because at least they were talking.
What I didn't know was that the dr had told her something that he had been told in confidence - something that he had also told me and a whole lot of other people and told all of us that we were the only one he'd told & we mustn't let on we know etc etc etc
Fucktard (ty to Steph - I love that word, never used it before but shall be again)
Anyway, it was about 10pm and I was smashed - we were drinking cocktails and if I do say so myself I make the best damn cocktails (that’s been conf in London as well - not just Brisbane people!) when all of a sudden all hell broke loose.
N had gone to the person who 'owned' the secret that the dr had been telling and told them that she knew & that she was there for them if they needed her (perfectly understandable if you know what the secret is, I promise) the owner of the secret then confronted the dr wanting to know who else had been told and the dr totally lost it.
I've wandered out the front, cocktail in hand to be confronted by the dr screaming at them and then running off down the road and the secret owner nearly breaking down and N (who I would have sworn couldn't cry) crying…
So as the resident counsellor I proceeded to spend the next 2 hours of my birthday party patching things up. Once I realised that N knew the secret and she realised I did she broke down again, in the middle of resolving this K1 has wandered - drunk, happy & totally oblivious - into the bedroom and suggested a spa bath (remember I have a thing for water when I am drunk), I told her to run the bath and I'd join her later.
Patched up N, mixed her up a batch of cocktails all for herself, sorted out the secret keeper, made sure that the dr was driven home (after they found him wandering the streets kicking the hell out of st signs) and then proceeded to jump in the spa naked with 5 very hot girls.
we have pics of that somewhere.
I then ended up getting naughty with a couple of people.
Got home the next day (found all the china smashed all over the floor and all the water glasses smashed in the sink) and packed clothes for the night, went home to my parents & told them everything, by this stage I' d had one of our other friends on the phone telling me that the dr had called her at work and was threatening to kill N, my parents flipped and told me I had to move home immediately, in the meantime I am also trying to deal with the guilt.
On Monday I went to work & told my boss what had happened, he flipped and had the dr's access to all company buildings revoked so he couldn't get in there to kill N if he wanted to, N was called in and the company started 'the process' and my boss assured me I could take as much time off as I needed but made me promise to be out of the dr's house by the next night.
My friends helped me move which was very nice and that evening we were all at coffee when I mentioned that I really wanted to do something to the dr to pay him back for the 7 months of hell he had put us all through. They told me to leave well enough alone but … well… you know…
I was the last one to leave the house with the final load of my stuff - everyone else had already left in convoy heading to my parents house and as I walked around one final time I had a brainwave. The night before I had had fresh prawns & smoked salmon for dinner and I had wrapped the prawn heads up & put them in the freezer until bin day….
When I moved in the dr had just had wooden flooring (you know the interlocking ones) put down and had put the skirting boards back up in all rooms except for inside the wardrobe in my room. I ran into my room and with a ruler, levered them up as far as I could and then threw some prawn heads as far under there as I could then dropped it back down - you'd never know…
The best bit was that he couldn't just pull those floor boards back up as they all interlocked and from my room ran back out into the hallway, his room & the living room and to pull the ones in my room up would require pulling every single floor board in the house up.
Muahahahahahahahaha (<- evil laugh) (just in case you missed it)
The house went on the market in about 2 weeks and it was still on the market when I left. I wonder why ….
I didn't tell them what I had done immediately but when I did they all thought it was hilarious - by then enough time had passed that we could all find it funny rather then just worrying that it might provoke him.
I am not normally a vengeful person, I believe that karma gets us all in the end but in this case...
And of course the moral of the story is - don't piss me off & then leave me alone in your house when there are prawn heads in the freezer.
And here is a story I found on the net about revenge... I'm guessing she's american....
After breaking up with a boyfriend of 3 months, I found out he was trying to control me and possibly get me pregnant, so I decided I wanted revenge on him. I was eating shrimp one day and went to get some of my things from his house, and he was gone somewhere with his uncle. Now this boy LOVES his car...I had the leftover shrimp in a take home box in my car, so I took the shells from the shrimp and put them in the boxes that hold his precious 15 inch speakers and while I was at it, I put a condom in the gas tank. and left. The shrimp are still in his speakers, from what I know and it smells like crap in there. He has tried everything to get rid of the smell. As for the condom in the gas tank...his car broke down last week and he hasn’t found out what’s wrong with it. The condom trick may take time but it works!!
Before I came overseas I was living with a friend of mine from work, we are a fairly close-knit group - its something to do with working nightshift I think - the only other people who have time off and are awake at the same time as you are your workmates so you end up spending a lot of time together.
My then flatmate (lets call him the Doctor) suddenly decided that one of our other friends was out to get him (that called 'paranoia' kids…) and so started to make her life hell in revenge.
Needless to say the poor girl (N) had no clue what was going on and the rest of the group was a bit baffled as well but no one really knew what was happening as he was telling everyone different stories. Finally my birthday rolled around and I decided to have a party.
The earliest i could fit my own birthday party in was Halloween & as there are not enough weekends in the year for me to go to all the parties I normally have on (what can I say - I'm loved), JM & the dr & I combined our parties & i decided that the party was to be at JM's place so that N could come along and not feel weird
A week before the party N told me that she was only going to drop in for an hour or so as she would feel very awkward that he was there and that was that. Until then I had been trying to stay out of it but once it threatened to interfere with my party I was over with this playing Switzerland business. We resolved things to the point where she could come to the party and not feel so bad because at least they were talking.
What I didn't know was that the dr had told her something that he had been told in confidence - something that he had also told me and a whole lot of other people and told all of us that we were the only one he'd told & we mustn't let on we know etc etc etc
Fucktard (ty to Steph - I love that word, never used it before but shall be again)
Anyway, it was about 10pm and I was smashed - we were drinking cocktails and if I do say so myself I make the best damn cocktails (that’s been conf in London as well - not just Brisbane people!) when all of a sudden all hell broke loose.
N had gone to the person who 'owned' the secret that the dr had been telling and told them that she knew & that she was there for them if they needed her (perfectly understandable if you know what the secret is, I promise) the owner of the secret then confronted the dr wanting to know who else had been told and the dr totally lost it.
I've wandered out the front, cocktail in hand to be confronted by the dr screaming at them and then running off down the road and the secret owner nearly breaking down and N (who I would have sworn couldn't cry) crying…
So as the resident counsellor I proceeded to spend the next 2 hours of my birthday party patching things up. Once I realised that N knew the secret and she realised I did she broke down again, in the middle of resolving this K1 has wandered - drunk, happy & totally oblivious - into the bedroom and suggested a spa bath (remember I have a thing for water when I am drunk), I told her to run the bath and I'd join her later.
Patched up N, mixed her up a batch of cocktails all for herself, sorted out the secret keeper, made sure that the dr was driven home (after they found him wandering the streets kicking the hell out of st signs) and then proceeded to jump in the spa naked with 5 very hot girls.
we have pics of that somewhere.
I then ended up getting naughty with a couple of people.
Got home the next day (found all the china smashed all over the floor and all the water glasses smashed in the sink) and packed clothes for the night, went home to my parents & told them everything, by this stage I' d had one of our other friends on the phone telling me that the dr had called her at work and was threatening to kill N, my parents flipped and told me I had to move home immediately, in the meantime I am also trying to deal with the guilt.
On Monday I went to work & told my boss what had happened, he flipped and had the dr's access to all company buildings revoked so he couldn't get in there to kill N if he wanted to, N was called in and the company started 'the process' and my boss assured me I could take as much time off as I needed but made me promise to be out of the dr's house by the next night.
My friends helped me move which was very nice and that evening we were all at coffee when I mentioned that I really wanted to do something to the dr to pay him back for the 7 months of hell he had put us all through. They told me to leave well enough alone but … well… you know…
I was the last one to leave the house with the final load of my stuff - everyone else had already left in convoy heading to my parents house and as I walked around one final time I had a brainwave. The night before I had had fresh prawns & smoked salmon for dinner and I had wrapped the prawn heads up & put them in the freezer until bin day….
When I moved in the dr had just had wooden flooring (you know the interlocking ones) put down and had put the skirting boards back up in all rooms except for inside the wardrobe in my room. I ran into my room and with a ruler, levered them up as far as I could and then threw some prawn heads as far under there as I could then dropped it back down - you'd never know…
The best bit was that he couldn't just pull those floor boards back up as they all interlocked and from my room ran back out into the hallway, his room & the living room and to pull the ones in my room up would require pulling every single floor board in the house up.
Muahahahahahahahaha (<- evil laugh) (just in case you missed it)
The house went on the market in about 2 weeks and it was still on the market when I left. I wonder why ….
I didn't tell them what I had done immediately but when I did they all thought it was hilarious - by then enough time had passed that we could all find it funny rather then just worrying that it might provoke him.
I am not normally a vengeful person, I believe that karma gets us all in the end but in this case...
And of course the moral of the story is - don't piss me off & then leave me alone in your house when there are prawn heads in the freezer.
And here is a story I found on the net about revenge... I'm guessing she's american....
After breaking up with a boyfriend of 3 months, I found out he was trying to control me and possibly get me pregnant, so I decided I wanted revenge on him. I was eating shrimp one day and went to get some of my things from his house, and he was gone somewhere with his uncle. Now this boy LOVES his car...I had the leftover shrimp in a take home box in my car, so I took the shells from the shrimp and put them in the boxes that hold his precious 15 inch speakers and while I was at it, I put a condom in the gas tank. and left. The shrimp are still in his speakers, from what I know and it smells like crap in there. He has tried everything to get rid of the smell. As for the condom in the gas tank...his car broke down last week and he hasn’t found out what’s wrong with it. The condom trick may take time but it works!!
posted by Giggleworthy @ 1:53 PM
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