Australia Day...

How times have changed...

8 - 9 years ago - spent on the gold coast taking more drugs then a sane person would, going AWOL from work as I was too busy partying for about 5 days straight.

5 years ago - see above (what can I say - the party phase was still going strong)

2 years ago - spent on the coast with a different group of friends at the beach, having a BBQ, flirting with cute boys and having lots of laughs.

1 year ago - spent camping on the beach at Straddie, much fun, much alcohol, much swimming at night (I never said I was sensible)

Current - Worked during the day then headed to the Walkabout at Leicester Square…..

Funny thing about the Walkabout, under normal circumstances, you can go in there and there will be a few people, go on a weekend during the evening and it will be busy-ish, go on Australia Day… it's insane…

Within 4 mins of walking in the door, I had only managed to move about 3 mtrs towards the bar, I had been drenched in beer (Literally - my underwear was soaking - mind out of the gutter kids), which I hate, groped by a very strange man in a fosters hat, with an aussie flag wrapped around his shoulders and aussie flag fake tatts on his face (… interesting….) And been propositioned by another.

Not much you can do but laugh. Aussies really do know how to have a great time. It was great to hear some Aussie music - a bit of powderfinger, some ac/dc, crowded house, some chisel et al … I do miss Aussie music as I don't mind R&B etc but I was raised on rock music and its just not the same over here.

I went there with K2 who was a little traumatised by it all. Under normal circumstances (ie when at home) we aren't really 'pub' kind of girls… wine bars, check, nightclubs, check, nice restaurants, check, a quiet pub for a game of pool, check. This however was none of those things, it wasn't nice - it was a loud, rowdy, throbbing, seething mass of people whose sole intention was to stand on my shoes (Ack!), get absolutely blind and have as much fun as they possibly could.

It was absolutely fabulous and if I had been wearing anything other then a very expensive work suit I would have been in the thick of it but clearly, I am getting old because for some reason that seemed to matter. I stayed for 2 drinks and then we left to go have dinner, I actually could have gone without dinner and just kept drinking (it wouldn't be the first time) as I had managed to charm a drinks pass out of the doorman that gave me drinks for £1.50 rather then £4 but I couldn't hear myself think let along have a conversation with K2… I told you I was getting old…

How sad.

It took us about 15 mins to work our way back to the front door (accompanied by the strains of 'I come from a Land Down Under') and then we took off into the freezing fucking cold night and headed for a Chinese restaurant that K2 found in Soho and proceeded to eat ourselves stupid and drink several bottles of wine. All in all, a fab night and I'm actually not in pain today which is even nicer.

The only glitch in the evening came when K2 started to tell me a story about a miscarriage she had a while back.

Now, I am the resident counsellor for my friends - I know everyones problems and I am permanently on call when disaster strikes. If something goes wrong, I will fix it, if someone needs their ass kicked, I will do it, if you need some hugs & sympathy, I'm your girl. So naturally enough, I didn't want to stop her talking about it if she needed to talk. The problem stems from the fact that I simply cannot listen to medical type conversations. I cannot go near hospitals and I cannot handle needles, blood etc.

In high school I was the only person who, when we were studying first aid, was allowed to leave the class at any time and go to the library - they decided on this after the first 4 times I passed out during class.

I was also the only person who automatically got a pass for dissection - I had to throw up on 2 frozen bull's eyeballs before I managed to score that one... I couldn't even dissect chicken wings for gods sake (I still can't eat them to this day).

Until my sister had her first child, I had never managed to go more then 2 steps inside the doors of a hospital without passing out and even when I went to visit her it was a struggle to remain upright until I actually laid eyes on my niece G, at which point everything else fell away.

And since my first serious bf & I broke up I am fanatical about safe sex as I cannot have a blood test without going into shock and (you guessed it) passing out…

Now K2 wasn't actually aware of this tendency of mine which is why she brought it up and within about 30 seconds of her starting to tell me what it had actually looked like and the blood, I had gone white (I could actually feel the blood draining from my face), she was looking down at her plate at the time so she didn't notice, within another minute, my hands were like ice and I was sweating and by the time she looked up (probably another 30 seconds after that) I was shaking and seeing stars & spots. Poor K2 freaked and used the menu to fan my face and was telling me to sip some water but I didn't actually have the strength to pick the glass up.

In the end I had to wait until I thought I could walk & then head to the ladies and sit there with my head between my knees for 10 mins until I felt better. The poor girl felt just awful and I felt bad that she felt bad. We established that she could talk about how she felt about the miscarriage but no physical details were allowed and all was well from that point on. She did ask me what I was planning to do when I have kids and I gave the same response I always do - I am either going to ask to go into a medically induced coma for the duration of the pregnancy or I am going to start mainlining heroin.

Neither option is seriously on the table of course but it has made me think - I am a traditional type of woman and ultimately, I do want kids, I am slightly old-fashioned in the sense that I have to admit that to me, it’s a part of the package deal - you meet someone, you fall in love, you get married and you have children.. I know it doesn't always work out that way but I don't think I would be able to have a child with someone who I wasn't planning on spending the rest of my life with (or at the very least, who I couldn't tolerate being at least a part of my life for the next 18 years or so). Never say never though I suppose.

I had a wonderful childhood & would love to give that to my children but the problem of course is bloody having them!!!!!!!!!! I am living in hope that when the time comes I will have the strength to get through it and lets face it, once I'm there, there's no turning back is there? I do have a sneaking suspicion however that it will make for some interesting posts…