Todays Weather Report....

Right - that's it! That is the last time I am going to check the temperature for the day while I am over here.

It is minus 1 in London today - and that’s if you are out of the wind. Once you throw yourself outside the door into a breeze coming straight of the North Pole and there is nothing between you and it’s source but a few stray polar bears then the temp drops even more (hey, do they live at the north pole or the south pole?? Cause if it’s the south pole then I'm worse off then I thought).

It sucks.

If you seriously think it is possible to get warm in this kind of weather then may I politely suggest that you are delusional???

From here on in, so far as I am concerned, there are only two temperatures in London -

1. Fucking cold (fuk-ing kold)
· Upon entering a warm building, extremities will regain feeling within 1/2 - 3/4 of an hour.
· Women are in danger of being accused of pea-smuggling
· People who don't wax or who haven't shaved that day will be annoyed by their tights rubbing against the hair on their legs which is standing on end.

2. REALLY Fucking Cold (ree-al-ly fuk-ing kold)
Upon entering a warm building, extremities will not regain use or feeling within under 2 hours without serious chaffing
Nipples are hard enough to cut diamonds
People who don't wax or shave their legs are in no danger of being annoyed by their tights rubbing against the hairs on their legs as they can't actually feel their legs.

Can you believe I signed up for this shit willingly?????