Pondering my belly button...

It’s interesting how quickly you come to take things for granted - to see without seeing.

It really does amaze me how quickly things become ‘routine’. I found the same thing in London – most mornings I was unaware of being ‘in London’, I was simply on my way somewhere – to work, to meet friends, to a pub, a shop – it was only every so often that as I was walking down the street, something would jolt me from my complacency and startle me into the realisation of ‘holy sh*t – I’m in London!’

Now I am back and in some ways, it feels as if I have never been away – the things I see, the places I go, the people I talk to are all exactly the same as they were ‘before’. The relationships may have changed a little – people who I once seemed to have so much in common with, I no longer seem to have such a strong connection to, but for the most part, life is ‘the same’ and it’s only every now and then that I am suddenly struck by how exotic my surroundings are – I suddenly realised this as I drove down the highway this morning - 4 lanes in each direction and as I approached a section where the road splices a small hill, exposing red dirt barely covered by sparse yellow/green grass, surmounted by ghost gums with grey white bark and leaves in the peculiar shade of dusty green that only gum trees seem to have, in that split second, I suddenly registered how alien that visual was to what I have been viewing for the last 15 months.

Trains that run above ground also struck me as being slightly exotic this morning – to be able to look out the windows and see places I go past, even though I saw them every morning from grade 10 onwards, was bizarre. The space that surrounds me, when for the last 15 months I was surrounded and hemmed in on all sides by buildings (often older than the oldest building we even have in this country) and all filled with millions of people from all over the world.

Now that I am not there, I discover things that I loved about London without even realising it, even as I am rediscovering things I love about Brisbane that I had simply never thought of before. In both instances, I simply took them for granted.

How much else do I take for granted?

How many people in my life, places that I go, things that I do?

I’m not one for saying ‘I love you’ very much. My friend N assures me that the first time I told her that I loved her, she had never heard such a hostile declaration of love in all her life (that would be because I was very angry with her at the time – I told her that I loved her, but I sure didn’t like her very much right at that moment and then turned and walked off). I am better at showing than telling, I am always (at least) vaguely resentful of having to say it – surely people can work it out for themselves, right??

I don’t remember the last time I told my parents or my sister or my brother that I love them. I know I told G when I first got home but I don’t think I told E or C. I haven’t told my friends in god alone knows how long.

I think that might need to go on the to do list....

Although I better be careful - I don't want to give my mum a heart attack. *frown*