I swear this isn't really a p0rn site.

Ok, I am going to post this but by posting this, I have just totally removed the possibility of my ever meeting any of you face to face – unless you all solemnly swear to forget all about this post after we’ve discussed it.

Do you swear??

Because if not then stop reading now.


I mean it !


Promise???



You’re lying aren’t you?

*Sigh *

Ok, here goes anyway (you lying bastards) –


I’m blogging about this because in conversation with a friend they said “99% of guys have never met a woman who will let them cum all over them...and the 1% that have work in Porn“

So am I the only weirdo out there who loves the feeling of cum on my body – anywhere on my body – be it my face (except my eyes, please avoid my eyes, that just hurts, thanks), my hair, my breasts, my stomach or mixing with my own and running down my thighs ??

And if so, where the hell did this come from?

Erm….Poor choice of words there perhaps.

Is it because I hate condoms (more then most women I know) so I’m a bit more used to it? Is it just (as my friends are firmly convinced) that I really am a weirdo who should have gone into porn? (Not ever going to happen – I am very very selective as to who I let in my bed – I would happily stake quite a bit of cash and my virtue on the fact that I have slept with less people then 99% of you reading this - plus the thought of having sex for money and or some total stranger beating off over a video – oops, sorry – DVD - of me having sex creeps me out). What is it ?

Before you all write me off as a cum puppet (I cannot remember who gave us that delightful phrase but it has a ‘Steph’ kind of ring to it and it fits with our theme), I would like to clarify a couple of things –

1. I do not sleep with randoms therefore, we’re talking about this in the context of a relationship with someone you love.

2. Cum in my face the very first time I sleep with you and I would be very unhappy – sure, generally speaking I’m ok with it, but YOU probably don’t know that and that’s just rude. ‘Manners don’t cost you anything to carry round’ as my mum used to say…

Now, the ‘in the face’ thing aside (which I do get off on), I have to admit that I totally get off on a guy cumming on my body – on my breasts, on my stomach – one of my ex’s and I (Cheating ex, if it matters) used to have sex, he’d come on my breasts and we’d lie there and talk until it dried then get dressed and go out to dinner – a huge turn on for both of us as it happens and yet something that was regarded as being in questionable taste by a friend who I mentioned that to yesterday. Once again – in the context of a monogamous relationship (well – it was at the time, this was before he met the scrag) I don’t see whats wrong with it – it’s not really so different to the guy who shags a chick and then doesn’t shower so he’ll be able to smell her for the rest of the day/night/whatever – and no one really raises an eyebrow at that pastime but for a woman to admit to it is somehow a shocking thing – ‘sluttish‘ was the word used I believe – although it was clarified as ‘sluttish in a good way’ (who knew that was possible??) which they then followed up with ‘I would love my gf to do that’…. Fair ‘nuff…. It’s the Angel / Whore thing ….

I love the smell of it - nothing else in the world smells like ‘sex’ and nothing makes me dizzy faster –except perhaps that ride they have at the Ekka that I once made the mistake of going on when I was coked to the eyeballs and coming in really hard from a pill I’d dropped about half an hour before hand – but that’s a story for another day.

I get off watching my partner cum and seeing the satisfaction on their face as they cum on me - and they always are – even the most conservative guy will get off on it – particularly if they know that I’m getting off on them getting off (whew – don’t try to make sense of that when you’re drunk). The look on their faces and in their eyes is….. intense….. that exact look of primal satisfaction is very hard to define with any other word or words and it’s a different look to the one that you’ll see at other times (eg. When they’ve turned you on or made you cum). Trust me on this.

Knowing that I’m getting off on it, knowing that I don’t want to wash ‘them’ off me and my awareness of how much they love it is a cycle – you both feed off the others arousal at it, which just kicks it higher.

BUT – why do I seem to be the only woman I know who gets off on it – and I got off on it long before I realised just what a turn on it was for my partners… I’m not Robinson Caruso here am I ??? Really??? ? Or am I just the only one prepared to admit it?